Wednesday, February 10, 2010

The Fat Girl - A Response Turned Post


Sorry for the lack of blogs this week. I'll try to get up some normal posts by the weekend, it's just been crazy here with the weather and lack of energy, and one of our dogs died, which I'm taking harder than I expected. 

This is in response to a blog post on another site, in which the author goes on a tangent against fat acceptance because she saw an "obese" teenager eating an  ice cream cone:

Not that long ago, I could’ve been the fat girl you talked about. I still see a lot of myself in that image. It’s not just the weight or the ice cream, but your description of feverish activity and that drugged look. I remember it a lot from the years I was bulimic. Ice cream was great, because it was so easy to throw back up, made easier by the judgmental stares from total strangers if you dared to eat in in public. I could eat with one hand while tracking the calories on my favorite mobile diet website on the other, figuring if I ate x calories, throwing up would get rid of about 1/2, and I could have ice cream or normal food again 3 days later, after a 2 day fast and exercise session to burn off the rest of the calories.

Then, I found the “truth” all of these anti-fat people want to drill into our heads – it wasn’t just the weight that was bad, it was the fat itself, and I’d have to stop eating and exercise more to make it go away. So I did, and lost my job, my college career, and almost my life. It’s ironic, I was clinically underweight and admitted to a hospital eating disorder unit, but never looked thin because I still had excess skin from my previous fat. If only I had learned how unacceptable eating and being overweight were earlier in life, before the age of 19. Maybe I could’ve skipped the weight gain and bulimia and went straight to restricting in 5th grade, rather then binging or purging. I could’ve been a skinny role model or another dead teenager, but at least I wouldn’t have been another fatass around to pollute society with my appearance.

Seriously, what do people want? Are they that offended by unperfect bodies that they’d rather encourage starvation or see us all drop dead or locked away than put up with a few extra pounds? Without some form of fat acceptance or positivity, that’s what it will take, because it’s pretty damn hard to take care of yourself and get healthy, at any size, when you are hating yourself and shamed by others. People get healthy by loving themselves and seeing themselves as worthy of taking care of, and that takes acceptance, not judgment.
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