Saturday, March 20, 2010

Mom's Visiting & Helping Out

Yeah, pic is is mostly unrelated, but I thought it was cute. :)

I just wanted to do a quick update post, because I probably won't be online or on Twitter much in the next week, because I have company and because the baby will probably come some time next week.

My mom came up yesterday, and is staying for about a week, to help with the baby. Since I still haven't had him, she's helping me out around the house in the meantime. We've gotten a lot done already, but for some reason my husband is being a totally passive-aggressive asshole about the whole situation - I think he feels threatened because she is pointing out how much of the stuff in question is his, and that I am pregnant and he is not helping me at all with the actual work that needs to be done.  He's doing his usual criticize, blame, then walk away routine, but it's not working as well on her as it apparently has on me.

Despite all that, we are getting things done. The husband ran off to his dad's this morning, and will probably spend the day up there to avoid helping with the house, but he did say he was going to try to do the bathroom floor tiles, and finally finish the bathroom, this weekend. I went ahead and put the curtains and things up in there around the shower, so all I need to do is put the stuff back in the cabinet and put it up once the floor's done. I got most of my clothes sorted and hung up too, which was nice - it's amazing how much faster it went with some help. There is still a lot to be done in the bedroom, but at least we were able to sleep in the big bed again, and can get to things in the closet. The kitchen is also mostly straight now, although the majority of that was moving paint buckets, his tools, etc out of there and onto the shelves I'd put up in the washroom for that purpose. This was followed about an hour later by protests that he couldn't find them when they were on the tool shelf, rather than sitting on top of a 5 gallon bucket of paint blocking the pantry door.

The dog keeps following my mom around and barking at her, so he is hanging out on the back porch now. I don't get it. She likes dogs, and they usually like her, but I don't think he's too comfortable with anyone he's not used to in the house, especially when they're around me. I'm hoping he warms up to her over the next few days, because I feel bad about him acting like that, and I think she's a little upset that he doesn't like her, even though I explained he's like that with most people.

I am doing OK pregnancy-wise right now, just really stressed because of the way my husband is acting, and have been tense and crying a lot over the past day or two. I'm trying not to let it get to me, but that's easier said than do. It's just hard when this is supposed to be a happy time, and instead I've felt sad, lonely, and mistreated for most of it. A friend of mine sent me links to some verbal/emotional abuse support sites, and that does explain a lot of what is going on, but I don't really know how I'm going to deal with it right now. I'm pretty sure he doesn't even realize what he's doing right now, but when I try to point it out and tell him how it makes me feel, it just makes things even worse.


  1. It sounds like your mom is being a great help. I was on bedrest for the last five weeks of my pregnancy so all of my nesting instincts and last minute projects just had to go away. I realized that the baby coming didn't mean I would never be able to do anything again. It helped me to let go of what was urgent but not important. I hope you're able to get all you need done.

    It also sounds like your dog may be a little freaked out about the impending addition to your household and projecting some of that onto your mom. You might find the info helpful (even though the layout is hard to read)

  2. Yeah, mom's helping a lot. I'm sort of on the opposite of bedrest - since I'm past my due date, I'm being encouraged to be as active as possible in hopes that it will start labor. It's good timing I guess. I've gotten a lot done, but it is sort of tiring. There are still things that need doing, but we've got the majority of the "have to be" things finished.

    Thanks for the info on the dog. I'd read some things about introducing dogs & babies, but needed a reminder of some of it. I do agree he's freaked out - there's been a lot of change with the house and the baby. He actually calmed down some today with my husband at work, because we just did our thing and ignored him instead of giving him attention or reacting when he barked.


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