Monday, May 31, 2010

In Memory of Those Who Gave Their Lives for Our Country...

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Just Checking In

Sorry I've been so slack the last week y'all, it's been busy and my motivation to do anything was just gone.

I had two weekends in a row of real estate classes, but those are finally done and I'll never have to take any post-licensing again {still have the yearly updates, but those are just one day things). I was already not too happy about those, because they tend to be long and boring, and it was the first time I'd left the baby at all. My husband was home to watch him, and they did good, but I still missed him because I was gone about 10 hours at a time. DH also thought he had to work last Friday and wanted to leave the baby at a friend's house, but that was just not happening (I still think he's a little young to be left with someone else, but either way I don't think it's a good idea for his first time away from mom & dad to be all day, when we're both at least an hour away).

On top of it all, I was sick most of last week, which brought it's own issues. I mostly just wanted to stay in bed and sleep when I wasn't in the bathroom, but I seriously had no energy. The hubby stayed home with me on Wednesday cause I'd been up most of the night, and wasn't in very good shape to be looking after the baby. Of course, I ended up taking care of them both, because that's just how things work out. Between being gone most of the weekend, then being sick, my milk supply was also way down, which was worrying me and pissing me off, because I'd thought it was finally back up to where I didn't have to worry.

Now, I'm planning the whole return to work for next week. I had planned to go back after 6 weeks maximum, but I got lazy, and I think I'm nervous about what other people will think when I walk into the office and go out on appointments with the baby. Still, the whole reason I got into real estate is because it's flexible, so I guess I get to see how flexible it can be. Day care is not an option, and we're broke, so I need to get back to work, but I feel pretty intimidated. I guess most of it is because I've pretty much had the last 6 months off, between some of the health issues with the pregnancy (hyperemesis, was told not to drive for almost 4 months because of blackouts), then recovering from a c-section and trying to get settled in with the baby (he was permanently attached to my boob for most of the first month, so I couldn't really work like that.

This week, I'm still working in decluttering and cleaning the house (got rid of 72 pairs of shoes, which I'm heartbroken about, but I went up a whole size while pregnant and it looks like my feet are staying that way). I'm also going back over real estate forms and rules, to make sure I'm on top of my game when I get back to work, and doing a new marketing plan for this year - deciding which areas I'm, going to focus on for new business, and creating some flyers and postcards to send out. I also totally re-did my Lenoir, NC real estate website overnight, because I screwed up and messed up the WordPress version by trying to change the template.

Friday, May 21, 2010

D-List Blog Party

Thanks for visiting my blog, and hello to those stopping by from the D-Listed Blog Party. If I set this right, this post should stay up top until the 21st, but I'll still be blogging, so check below for the new posts (or subscribe through blogger or my RSS feed). This should be a great way for us to "meet" and check out eachother's blogs, so leave me a comment and a link to yours if you stop by.

Since this may bring some new people by, I'll start with an introduction.

My name's Raine, I'm a 28 years old, & I started this blog while pregnant with my first child.  My son, Robbie, is now 7 weeks old and I live with him, my husband Billy, 3 dogs, and a cat in North Carolina. I've blogged for years on livejournal, but wanted a separate space for my pregnancy and family life, so I started this. At the time, I was learning a lot about the commercialization of birth and how so many places denied women choices and options that should be their right, and was fired up (and rant-y) about a lot of things, so I figured "Mama Rants" would be the perfect name for my blog.

I spent 7 years as a prison guard, then lost my job while pregnant, so I'm a sort-of SAHM right now. I've worked part time in real estate for 3 years, and need some sort of income, so I'll be going back into that here in a couple weeks. I'll be working partly from home and partly from the office, but bringing the baby with me to both because I do not want to put him in daycare leave him with anyone else during the day. If nothing else, that should prove interesting and give me a few stories for blog fodder. :)

In other things, I am a runner (a slow, fat runner, but a runner nonetheless) and am training for my first triathlon. I'll be posting some updates and maybe pics from training and races, but not a lot of numbers and info relating to weight loss. This is because I'm in recovery after years if disordered eating and, while I'm now obese, the diet and weight talk to more harm for me than good. I do believe in "fat acceptance" and health at every size, so I will focus on progress as far as speed, endurance, and energy, and consider weight gained or lost as a side issue.

I also mention mental health issues occasionally. In addition to the eating disorders, I have had depression since my teenage years, and developed PTSD and anxiety/panic attacks after an incident in college. This contributed to pretty severe antepartum depression and one helluva case of the "baby blues" which I'm hoping doesn't turn into something more, but I seem to be doing well with both of those right now. I do try to provide "trigger warnings" on any posts that might bring up things for people with similar problems though.

Here are some of my favorite posts:

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Why Tri?

I was a little hesitant at first to even tell people I know that I was planning on doing a triathlon, but I figured that it would provide some motivation. I'm glad I did because I've gotten lots of encouragement, and knowing people are expecting me to finish is helping me get off my butt and keep training, but it's a little annoying because most people seem to think I'm just doing it to "lose the baby weight".

Just for the record - my main goal with triathlon, running, and fitness in general is not weight loss, although  I assume that I will probably end up losing plenty of weight, or at least reducing my overall body fat. I am eating better, but eating more, rather than dieting, and trying to build muscle as well, neither of which are great for dropping pounds quickly, but both of which make me feel much better than restrictive dieting or focusing on the number on the scale.

So, why do a triathlon? I think the main thing is just because it's there, and it's something nobody, including myself, would have expected me to be able to do. I've never really been a runner, but was just getting into it a year or so ago when I got side-lined by injury then pregnancy-related illness. I'd always told myself I hated it, but found that I really enjoyed the time alone and the feeling in my body after a good trail run or fast walk. The only concern I really had was that I was doing too much for my knees and joints to handle, because I was well over 300 pounds when I started. I'm down to 278 now, but still twice the size of your average female runner, so cycling and swimming seem to be the perfect crosstraining to build up my endurance while giving my knees and ankles a bit of a rest. Also, I loved swimming when I was younger, and used to ride my bike all over, so I am looking forward to enjoying those again.

Right now seems a great time to start, because I actually have the time. I will be probably going back to work part-time in a few more weeks, but this will give me enough time to make a habit of working out before I add more to my schedule. Things are busy and stressful with a new baby at home, but this is making me realize how important it is for me to have some alone time, and running, biking, or swimming gives me this while also burning off tension and relieving stress, and giving me more energy to take care of my family, our home, and work when I go back to that. It also helps me keep "the crazies" at bay by boosting endorphins that help my fight depression and reducing tension and anxiety.

There are also practical reasons for me to get in shape, and choose running and biking as the primary means (swimming is great, and relaxing, but it just sort of came with the territory  - it's kind of a pain if you don't have a pool or live close to a place you can swim). I figure running is pretty practical in a lot of situations - it can get you away from danger quickly or to a place you want to be quickly as well, and cycling is great for going slightly longer distances and not using a car, as well as a great way to hit the National Forest trails around here. They are also both relatively cheap and flexible - good shoes, a secondhand bike, and basic clothes, and you're set for a while - no classes or gym memberships to keep up with, and you can go out and run or ride whenever and almost wherever you feel like it (really good because I'm fitting it around my husband's schedule right now, so he can watch the baby).

While all of those are good things on their own, I chose to train for a specific triathlon instead of just working out when and how I take a notion is because it gives me something concrete to be working towards . The upcoming race gives me a goal and a deadline to have achieved a certain level of fitness, and it seems like more to be able to complete a set goal than to just keep on keeping on. Of course, once I finish one, I will probably keep on trying to beat my previous time and/or go for longer distances, but that's even better because it means there will always be another goal to reach for.

Anyone have advice on triathlon or any of the 3 sports involved (running, biking, &swimming)?

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Happy Mother's Day!

I just wanted to say Happy Mother's Day to all the moms & moms-to-be out there!

This is my first Mother's Day as a mother, so that's pretty cool, although we haven't really done anything special other than just taken some "family" time for me, baby Robbie, and my husband (which is rare, and what I usually want more of anyway).  I'm sure there will be plenty of homemade cards, homemade crafts, etc (and hopefully some non-tacky jewelry, lol) in years to come, but hopefully we'll still make time to just be and do something as a family as well.

As cheesy as it sounds, I do feel like I'm closer with my mom snow than before I had a child of my own, and I feel like part of this is because we did have a while to spend time together around the time Robbie was born. I have always had trouble sharing with and getting close to people because I worry what they think, and I guess that goes double for family, but I feel like the older I get the more of my mother I do see in my myself, and that makes it easier for me to open up to her because I feel like she may understand where I'm coming from.

Still, it's wierd. I was gonna do one of those "tribute to my mom" type posts, but couldn't really find the words, and I can't do one of those "what motherhood means to me" posts either, because it's also hard to find the words for that, and I haven't been a mom long enough to have much to say. I just wanted to say thank you to all of the moms that have gone before, in my family and in the world, for making me what i am, and for shaping our society itself. I really do feel like motherhood is a force that connects me with all of the other mothers worldwide, and I hope the way i raise my son lifts us up instead of holding us back.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

International No-Diet Day Pledge, Goals, & Round-Up

Today is International No Diet Day. I'd never heard of it before, but I like the idea. It was started by a British Feminist named Mary Evans Young in 1992, to fight the diet industry and its negative effects on women, and to raise awareness of the dangers of eating disorders.
In a society where over 2/3 of American women are dissatisfied with their bodies, and over 50% of us are on a diet at any given time, the ever-growing diet industry takes in over $40 billion a year, despite the fact that between 90-99% of diets fail to produce permanent weight loss, 2/3 of dieters regain the weight within one year, and virtually all regain it within 5 years (and the long-term results are not much better even for those who undergo weight loss surgeries). Instead of punishing yourself and your body by buying into the diet industries negative messages towards women of all sizes, why not take a day off to:

  • Take a day off from whatever crazy diet plan you are following and instead listening to, respect, and respond to your body's unique hunger and satiety needs.
  • Celebrate the beauty and diversity of ALL our natural sizes and shapes
  • Affirm everyBODY's right to health, fitness, and emotional well-being
  • Declare a free day from diets and obsessions with body weight
  • Learn the facts about weight-loss dieting, health, and body size
  • Present the facts about the diet industry emphasizing the inefficacy of commercial diets.
  • Recognize how dieting perpetuates violence against women
  • Honor the victims of eating disorders and weight-loss surgery
  • Help end weight discrimination, sizism and fatphobia

In honor of the day, you can wear a light blue ribbon & take the No Diet Day Pledge (from

Take the Pledge!

I Pledge:

  • That I will not diet for one day, on May 6, International No Diet Day.
  • Instead of trying to change my body to fit someone else's standards, I will accept myself just as I am.
  • I will feed myself if I'm hungry.
  • I will feel no shame or guilt about my size or about eating.
  • I will think about whether dieting has improved my health and well-being or not.
  • And I will try to do at least one thing I have been putting off "until I lose weight."


(Print out this pledge form, sign it, and post it in a place where you will see it often between now and May 6.)

Click here to download a sheet of printer-ready INDD pledge cards
in MS Word document format.
here to download a sheet of printer-ready INDD ribbon stickers
in MS Word document format.

This information is a public service of Largesse, the Network for Size Esteem [] and may be freely copied and distributed in its entirety for non-commercial use in promoting size diversity empowerment, provided this statement is included. 

For more on International No-Diet Day, check out the following posts and blogs:
(If you posted about it today, let me know, and I'll add your link.)
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