Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Finding My Groove Again
I'm up, dressed and showered, which is a rarity in itself anymore (I've been waiting until the evening when my husband got home on most days, and more than once either skipped it altogether or showered at bedtime). I almost stayed up all night again, but am kind of glad I made myself lay down around 2 when baby got settled, because I fell asleep pretty fast, and I've been needing some real rest. I just feel more hopeful today than I have in a long time, like maybe I can deal with things ("things" right now mostly being life in general).
I haven't seen my psychiatrist yet, but I will be seeing him next week. I would have done so this week, but I spent more than I planned at the grocery store, and won't have the money to cover my appointment until after Tuesday. That said, I know I need to go, but don't feel like it's as urgent now. If I can get decent rest and nutrition the rest of the week, I think it will help a lot with keeping me feeling better. I'm going to also try to get back on track with exercising and following my daily routines, because they both help a lot. I did a short run this morning, but didn't want to overdo it because I've been sore a lot lately. I may walk on the treadmill later too, because I have a book I want to read more of, and I can read and walk at the same time. I'm also going to hold off on going back to work until at least next week. I feel like I'm adding too much stress by pushing myself, and I need to get things under control here before I could work effectively. It'll also help to get back to a routine, because that will mean I can predict when Robbie will be more sleepy, hungry, etc and schedule my work day around that.
So far, I've swept the kitchen, done a quick clean in the bathrooms, washed pillows (linens are next), had breakfast & washed dishes, and ran. If I can keep up with this routine again, I'll feel better and not be as stressed about the house, and I can get back to decluttering and putting away some of the pre-pregnancy clothes I'd packed away. It should also help mentally, because one of the biggest problems is that I just get overwhelmed, even with everyday things, and having a daily plan and more order at home helps make everything more manageable. I feel like if I can get going with a routine again and stick to it for a while, then maybe I will be ready to go to work as well. Either way, it should just make life easier all around, and help me get back to enjoying it instead of just trudging through feeling like I'm 5 steps behind.
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