Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Ups & Downs, Mostly Down

My emotions and energy levels are still really up and down. I had a couple days last week where I felt OK, and a few that were really bad. There was one day where the baby was crying and for over an hour it was like I couldn't move; I was sitting there crying because I felt so bad about it, but I couldn't get up and move about 10 feet to tend to him. Yesterday was also rough, but not quite as bad. I was tempted to ask my husband to come home early but I didn't and he ended up working 3 hours overtime instead. I had one really good day where I got up, did some stuff around the house, and even got out and ran, then everything crashed again and I just can't get my energy back.

I did finally call and make an appointment with my psychiatrist, but he's on vacation so it won't be until next week. I'm just trying to make it through until then, but I don't really have a support network at all. Getting out of the house would help some, but it's hard to do with the baby, and I'm having lots of anxiety about driving, so a lot of days it's not even possible. I feel like I'm failing at everything right now, because I'm getting nothing done, and having so much trouble concentrating or even keeping the energy to stay awake all day, much less work or get anything done around here.

3 comments:

  1. Oh, honey! I'm so sorry to hear this. I want to come over and give you a hug and take care of the baby for awhile so you can rest. You don't live near Denver, CO, do you? If you do, I'll definitely come over! I hope you can think of someone to call to come over and just be with you for a bit. I'm so glad you have an appointment with your psychiatrist next week. If you can't wait until then, though, I hope you'll call your regular doc or your OB/GYN. Sending you so much love. Hang in there! And let me know if I can do anything.

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  2. Thanks. I'm in NC, but really appreciate the thought. I don't really have anyone to call. Long story, but there' no one I'm really close to anymore, and it's been years since I've had people over to the house (well, my inlaws have started inviting themselves over, but they make me worse - his mom is just depressing to be around and his dad scares the crap out of me). I did have my husband come home "early" today (he worked over 2 hours, instead of 6) so I wasn't alone, and to help move my stuff out of the office at work.

    I'm sort of counting down til the appointment on Wednesday, and also sort of dreading it because I feel like there's just so much to bring up all at once because I waited so long. Then again, I guess he should be used to it- he does work with crazy people all the time.

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  3. I'm counting down with you! ANd I hope you lay it all out! I'm sure your psychiatrist can handle it. Hang in there!

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