Thursday, June 2, 2011

I Guess I'm Offically a RECOVERING Hoarder

Last week, I got a call from a woman who was one of the producers on the "I'm Pregnant And..." show I did for Discovery Health.

She was asking how I was doing and how the baby was, and also how the house was coming along. I told her it was better than it had been, but still way too cluttered and I felt like I was at sort of a dead end. I can keep up with the maintenance stuff now, like dishes, vacuuming, laundry, dusting, and all that, but still have a long way to go on the de-cluttering part.

With my stuff out of the way, I'm also realizing that part of the problem is that my husband has also hoarder a lot of things, and he will not even admit that it is a problem, much less dispose of any of it (I hoard clothes and papers/books mostly, he hoards extra furniture, knick-knacks, cars, and anything given to him by a friend or family member).

She told me that she is now a producer for the A&E show orders, and wanted to see if I'd be interested in filming a show with them. Being that money is very tight and they pay pretty well, plus they actually send a crew to help with a lot of the de-cluttering and a therapist and organizer to help you find ways to deal with problems, I thought it sounded great. I also hoped it would help because there would be a third party there who could point of some of my husband's clutter issues to him and maybe help me get rid of some of his stuff that is unused and taking up tons of space. I took pictures and sent in video of our home, and waited to hear back. I was a little hesitant, and figured the hubby would be, but he was excited at the prospect of getting the rest of the clutter sorted out and agreed that we need the money really bad.

After a few days, I got a call saying that our home wasn't really what they were looking for. We have some rooms de-cluttered and the rest is not dangerously bad or totally packed to the ceiling, so basically it wasn't cluttered enough. I also keep my bathrooms and kitchen clean and vacuum/dust what I can, so there's no real "ick" factor or trash, spoiled food, poop, or dead animals to be found hidden in my home (which seems to be a common find on some of the episodes). She was thinking they may still be interested because of our back-story, but the other people involved with the show didn't think the "before" shots would be shocking enough to fit in with their other episodes. She wished me luck and told me to let her know if things ever got really bad and out of control again and she'd see if they could help.

I know I should be glad about this, and happy at the progress I made, but I'm actually disappointed. For one, we could have seriously used both the money they pay for being on the show and the help with getting the rest of our stuff de-cluttered. I just feel stuck now - it's still overwhelming to tackle it all on my own, especially the clothes (I have to use our bed as a sorting area, so I spend twice as much time moving things from closet or tote to bed and back so we have a place to sleep as I do actually sorting things). I also don't see how I can get my husband to deal with any of his stuff, because he ignores me and gets mad if I bring it up. I've looked into hiring a de-cluttering crew or organizer in the past, and it's just not something we can afford, especially right now.

I guess I am going to have to deal with this on my own, as much as I can, so it's time to get back to it. I am doing to flylady routines somewhat although, you guessed it, I still have a mental block with the whole de-cluttering part. I'm trying to get back to that and kick things up some, so I will have the house in better shape before I go back to work. I'm letting myself get way too stressed out over so many things and at least having a little more order at home should help me relax and deal with everything else better.
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