Saturday, June 18, 2011

Mommy Will Get Your Ball, After She Finds Her Machete

Today started out early, because my son peed on the bedsheets. We're working on potty training because he has decided he hates a wet diaper, but that means he will sometimes just pull it down and pee or poop wherever instead of waiting for the potty (yeah, it's gross and frustrating to me, too).

Since we were both wide awake after a shower/bath and a change of clothes, I fixed us breakfast and looked for something fun to do. It was nice outside, because it hadn't gotten hot and humid yet, so I decided it'd be awesome to go outside and play ball. Now, we play ball inside all the time, but usually reserve outside ball playing for the park. This is because our entire yard is a hillside, with a flat spot graded out and the house perched on it.

I thought I could get away with going down to the very back of the yard, where it was a little flatter, but no dice. We played for a while, and it was cool, until the ball rolled down the hill, and off into the woods. This would be no big deal, except we decided it would be cool to leave about an acre of woods natural. It's pretty cool in autumn and winter, but in summer there is a ton of undergrowth, ticks, and snakes. I found out real early that the "natural" habitat the big old downed trees and the creek in the back create is like a paradise for copperheads. So yeah, my son's wanting his ball back, and it's down here (the beginning of the "path" is where the yellow arrow is):
Keep in mind I had a toddler with me, and was wearing shorts and a tank top at the time. There was no way I was going in there without some pants, some boots, and preferably a machete or flamethrower. I was not going to take the rugrat in their either, and also wasn't going to leave him way up at the house alone (the yard is close to 3 acres, and being that he doesn't stay in the playpen and we don't have baby gates, he would have had the whole run of the house alone). So, I did what most people would do -I decided to forget about it and shove it off on someone else.

I must have momentarily forgotten who I was married to because, when I told my husband Robbie's ball was in the woods, he was like, "So, go get it". Hinting and nagging didn't work either, so I had him watch Robbie while I changed clothes and went after it. He laughed at me, because I came out of the bedroom dressed in combat boots, with a set of coveralls tucked into them and a bandana around my hair. I did look more like I was going bee-keeping than anything else, but I did not want any critters on me. This was all justified when I finally got back out of the woods, and found 2 ticks on the pants.

I found the ball though, and that's what matters. I just think we're going to keep it limited to inside and/or to the several nice, flat, fenced-in parks within driving distance from now on.


  1. That is so me. If I have to start diving in brush for some reason, I need to keep layers between me and the critters. It surprises every one how well my children turned out. You have a real flair for telling a fun story.

  2. Ticks on your pants? Good call with the combat gear then!

  3. Cheryl,
    Thanks. My husband picks on me, but I hate the idea of any sort of bugs or anything on me - I used to wear pantyhose under my pants in the woods growing up, so I could peel off any creepy crawlies.
    I'm also totally freaked out by snakes, because I got bit by one when I was 16. (There's a good reason not to lean against a big old log if you need to squat to pee in the woods, but that's another story).

    Yeah, we've had a really bad year for them. I found one on my leg after it had already bit me, and my husband has found them on him twice this year.


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